MANAGING MY TODDLERS BEHAVIOR

Toddlers between the ages of two to three years old are becoming little individuals. They let you know what they like and what they don’t like. They begin to act independently of you. Their language has developed and they are able to let you know what they want. Their favorite word may be, “No”.

Often toddlers will insist on doing things themselves.

For example: they do not want to hold your hand in a parking lot, they want to try to dress themselves, and they want to hold their cup when drink by themselves. You often hear, “Me do it!”. Diaper changing time can become a nightmare.

Toddlers have not learned the self-control needed to wait or be patient. They don’t understand the logic or reasons for what you are asking them to do. Unfortunately, toddlers want what they want when they want it.

Keeping your toddler safe, teaching them skills for healthy development, and finding ways to control their behavior can be a challenge.

Here are some tips to help with behavior management.

• Expect rough spots. Certain situations and times of the day can trigger bad behavior.

For examples: transitioning from one activity to the next, waking up and going down for a nap, stopping activities in order to eat and drop off and pick up time at childcare. Give your toddler a heads up so that he is more prepared to switch gears.

• Pick your battles. Prioritize behaviors into large, medium, and those too insignificant to bother with.

• Use a preventative defense. Make sure your home is child friendly and have reasonable expectation.

• Make statements short and sweet. Speak in brief sentences, such as “No hitting.”

• Distract and redirect. Obviously, you do this all day, but don’t give up. Consistency is key to your child learning what is the right behavior.

• Introduce consequences. Children should learn the natural outcome of their behavior. This is also known as cause and effect.

For example, if your child is reluctant to pick up toys before she can go outside, then it is appropriate for her to understand that she cannot go outside until the toys are picked up.

• Don’t back down to avoid conflict. It is not unusual for children to act up especially when a visitor comes, or they are in public place. It is a way to see how much you will give in order to avoid a scene. Remain consistent with your expectations.

• Focus on the behavior not the child. When a particular behavior is inappropriate, teach your child it is the behavior that is ‘bad’. Never tell a child he or she is “bad”.

For example: “I love you very much but hitting me is bad and hurts me.”

• Give children choices. Help children understand that their opinion counts. Try to offer a small number of options (not too many) and give children an opportunity to choose. Only give the child choices that are acceptable.

For example: Do not say, “what would you like for lunch?” The answer may be cookies! Instead ask your toddler, “Would you like apple or orange slices?”

• Teach your child patience. Toddlers need to learn that they cannot always have what the want immediately. Learning self-control and how to wait is an important skill for their healthy development.

For example: Playing games that require your child to take turns and throwing a ball back and forth.

• Use timers. Toddlers have not yet learned to comprehend time limits. Using a timer helps them learn to wait. Start out with small time limits.

For example: I can play with you in 5 minutes. Set the timer and let the child know you’ll be ready when the timer rings. Acknowledge that is hard for the child to wait. “I know it is hard to wait, but I have to finish this first.”