PARENTING STYLES
The way you parent your child can directly affect your child’s self-esteem. This fact sheet will discuss three important parenting styles and the affect they have on your children.
AUTORITATIVE PARENTING STYLE
Authoritative parents display the following parenting traits:
• They listen to your children’s viewpoint. Listening does not always mean you are agreeing, however you are giving your child the respect to listen to their viewpoint.
• They are nurturing. This means that as a parent you supply more that food, shelter and clothing for your child. You work towards building a strong, healthy and emotional relationship with your child. You are always there when your child needs comfort.
• They are responsive to the child’s needs.
• They are supportive and encouraging. They encourage the child to do their best and praise them often.
• They set firm limits by explaining the rules they have set. They are fair and consistent with discipline when rules are broken. Their discipline takes into account all variables, including the child’s behavior and the situation.
• They are also open to discussing the rules and reason with the child when they disagree. They listen their child’s opinion and be open to discuss options.
Children who are raised by authoritative parents are often friendly, energetic, cheerful, self-reliant, self-controlled, curious, cooperative and achievement-oriented
AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING STYLES
Authoritarian parents display the following parenting traits:
• Make strict rules
• Don’t explain the reasoning behind the rules, you often say, “Because I said so.”
• The child's failure to follow the rules results in punishment.
• You do not respect or listen to your child’s point of view.
• Make high demands on the child.
• Are not responsive to the needs of your child.
• Set high expectations and do not tolerate errors. You may not understand that children make mistakes and often use poor judgement in making decisions.
• Authoritative parents severely punish their child when he makes a mistake. The parent offers no explanation to the child, leaving the child to wonder what he did wrong.
• They provide no direction on what the child should do differently in the future.
Children of authoritarian parent often develop a low self-esteem. They may even become hostile or aggressive. The have not been given the skills to think about how to do things better in the future, instead they focus on their anger they feel towards their parents.
PERMISSIVE PARENTING STYLE
Permissive parents display the following parenting traits:
• They make few rules. They generally indulge their child and let them do as they want.
• They rarely discipline their children. They feel that their children are not mature enough to have the self-control to follow rules.
• They avoid confrontation and rather than addressing it they let the child get away with inappropriate behavior.
• They allow their child to handle their emotions in any way they want.
• They are nurturing, however they would rather be their child’s friend than a parent.
• They are not consistent in their parenting.
• They are very loving, however do not give their children much guidance.
• They indulge their child in everything the child wants.
• They often use bribery to get their child to behave
• They have very little structure or schedules
Children raised by permissive parents often lack the skill of self-regulation. They may not do well in school and have problems with authority. Because their parents have low expectations, they have never learned to set goals for themselves. They often have problems with schedules because they never had limits at home. Due to the fact that they have no boundaries they lack social skill and often have problems making friends.
As a parent you want your child to grow up with the best possible chance at success in life. Examine the parenting styles and the traits your children are exhibiting. Think about the positive parenting styles and the children they produce. Now is the time to make changes to your parenting style if needed.