POSITIVE COMMUNICATION BUILDS SELF-ESTEEM
Building a children’s self-esteem is an essential skill when caring for children. What you say to them, how you say it, and how you treat them has a tremendous impact on how the child sees themself.
There are many opportunities during the day when you communicate with a child. However, you need to think about what that communication looks like.
For example: Is your communication limited to giving instructions such as : “Pick up your toys” or “wash your hands”. This is not the type of communication that builds the child’s self-esteem.
The type of communication that builds self-esteem is when you have a two-sided conversation. A great time to do that is to schedule a “talk” session into your daily routine.
For example: during mealtime you can sit with the children and talk with them. Make sure to listen to their comments and give feedback.
A good way to open communication is to ask questions. Ask questions that require more than a simple “yes” or “no” answer. Questions that ask “why” or “how” require the child to give more in depth answers. This gives you a great opportunity to use upbuilding words of encouragement to the child.
What if the child’s conversation with you is negative?
For example: the child tells you they can’t build a building with blocks. They say, “I tried but the blocks kept falling down. I just can’t do it.”
By having a conversation with the child, you have learned a very important piece of information. You now know that the child is developing a negative view of what they can do or can’t do. This is a great opportunity to build the child up.
For example: you could say, “I know building a building with blocks is hard. It takes a lot of practice. Remember when you had a hard time learning to bounce the ball, but look at you today, you are one of our best ball bouncers. Keep trying, I know you can do it.”
What has this conversation accomplished?
1. You acknowledged that building blocks are hard.
2. You reminded the child that somethings are hard like learning to bounce a ball.
3. You praised the child for his accomplishment.
4. You gave the child confidence that you know he can do it.
As a family childcare provider, you are in the position to form how the children in your care perceive themselves. You can assist the child in building a healthy self-esteem or chip away at a child’s self-esteem, causing the child to develop a negative view of themselves.
For example, saying, “You are being a baby”, or “you are lazy”, or “you are a troublemaker” are labels that a child will identify with in a negative way and have an influence on their behavior.
Children will not only identify with what you are telling them, but they will actually display the negative traits.
For example: Telling a child they are lazy because they will not help pick up toys will not encourage them to do better, instead it tells the child they cannot pick up the toys because they are lazy. If we tell them they are lazy then they will be lazy because they will believe that is what they are.
You would never want to put down the child by telling them they cannot do something. This will inhibit them from even trying. Avoid making comparisons with another child, instead emphasis that we all have different strengths. .
Building self-esteem can start in infancy. Talk to the infant and explaining what you are doing.
For example: “I’m going to take that dirty old diaper off and get you all clean and dry.”
Talking to them with eye contact and smiles is the beginning of learning interaction with adults and that they are loved and worthy individuals.
Remember every interaction you have with children has an impact.