DEATH- WHEN A CHILD NEEDS HELP
After a death in a child’s family, it is important to monitor how the child is feeling. All children grieve and some of these symptoms may be normal reactions, however when they last a long time or seem to be getting worse, it is time to encourage parents to seek medical health. The pediatrician can recommend a trained therapist or counselor to help the child.
As a provider, it is a good idea to document your observations. It is often easier for a parent to accept written documentation than what they may perceive as your opinion.
Here are some signs to look for:
• The child denies the death
• The child leaves the room every time the dead person’s name is mentioned
• The child will not talk about his/her feelings
• Child is especially sleepy at childcare because he/she is not sleeping at night
• Separation anxiety becomes extreme
• The child shows heightened anxiety, clings more, whines more
• Cries more for long periods of time
• Other fears become more intense, such as fear of the dark
• The child is angry often taking it out on another child or a pet
• The child seems depressed or withdrawn for a long time
A child may also show signs of regressive behavior. You may see:
• Toilet skills diminish, child starts wetting their pants
• Bed-wetting begins or re-emerges
• Thumb sucking becomes excessive or re-emerges
• The child may begin speaking baby talk
• The child begins to crawl after having walked
As stated above, all these are some normal signs a grieving child can display, but what you want to be aware of is if it lasts a long period of time, and/or it become excessive.
Parents may be dealing with grief in their own way, so it is important that you advocate for the child if you think they may need intervention.
The Crisis Manual for Early Childhood Teachers, Karen Miller