FOSTERING GOOD BEHAVIOR

FOSTERING GOOD BEHAVIOR

As a parent, one of your goal should be to help your child in their development of proper interaction with others. You need to teach your child how to solve problems, know his boundaries, and how to control his behavior.

Clear and concise rules are very important for children to know their boundaries. Knowing and understanding the rules helps a child feel secure in their environment. Often behavior problems arise when the rules in your home differ from the rules at school or childcare program. Let’s look at some ways we can guide children’s behavior.

Ways to prevent behavior problems:

• Your home should be set up so that your child has adequate adult supervision. Particularly supervision that is adequate for each child’s age and stage of development. Children often get into trouble when left unattended for a period of time.

• Have enough equipment for the children. (Toys, books, puzzles, blocks etc.) Children need a variety of appropriate equipment so they don’t get bored.

• There should be areas and time set aside for independent play, where a child is able to make his/her own decisions. Therefore, strengthening decision making skill.

• Having a daily routine offers security to the children.

• Schedule enough time for free play

• Be positive. Never call a child “bad”. It is the behavior that is unacceptable, not the child.

• Show your child the right way to handle a situation or a toy. Do not just tell her what he/she did wrong. Help your child make better decisions by showing here what he/she could do instead.

• Always notice and praise your children for their good behavior. Be specific so your child knows exactly what he/she did that was good.

• Always use eye contact when speaking with your child. Get down to their level and speak clearly to the child. Never raise your voice or yell at your child.

• Help your child understand his/her feelings. Identify and acknowledge what your child is feeling. Teach your child, when he feels a certain way, what behavior is appropriate.

• Help your child learn how to use his/her words. Especially when he is having a disagreement with another child. Help him identify his feelings and show him how he can communicate that to the other child. Remind your child to “use his words” to express his feeling.

• Model the correct behaviors using your tone of voice, body language, and actions. If you raise your voice or yell often, your child will also.

• Set clear boundaries. The rules should reflect a respect for others and your home.

• You may want to make a poster of the rules in the house. Post the rules where the children can see them. Go over the rules may times and be consistent. Be age appropriate. If your child cannot read, use pictures for your rules. For example: The rule is: No jumping on the couch. Post a picture of a people sitting on a couch.

Occasionally your child may find it very hard to control his/her behavior. If your child is old enough to understand, you could ask your child to go to a quiet corner until they could calm down and then come back. This puts the responsibility on the child to learn to self-regulate his behavior, understand his behavior was unacceptable and to make the decision when he is calm enough to return. If the child is younger and you need to separate the child, take into consideration the child’s developmental age. Never make the object of separation the CHILD, instead it is the BEHAVIOR that needs to be changed. No matter what the age of your child, always make sure the child is within your sight and hearing.

If you have a child who is persistent in behavior that could harm himself, you, or the other children, (biting, hitting, hair pulling, kicking, pinching, throwing toys, head banging etc.) it is time to have a conference with your doctor. Ask yourself these questions about what may be causing the behavior.

• Is your child mimicking behavior that he seeing or experiencing from older children in your home?

• Are you experiencing this behavior at home and allowing the child to get away with the inappropriate behavior because you don’t know what to do?

• Has your child or family undergone a serious trauma or significant change?

Consider having a serious discussion with the other adults in the child’s life (teacher, childcare provider, grandparents). Put together a plan that is discussed with all the important adults and family members in the child’s life and ask for cooperation in carrying it out. The consistency of rules and modeling correct behavior can help you child learn how to control his actions.

If your child continues to exhibit unhealthy, dangerous or uncontrolled behavior, it is necessary for the you to obtain counseling or medical help for the child. Often early intervention programs can be vital to healthy growth and development.

Resource:
Early Childhood Directors Association