BENEFITS OF POSITIVE COMMUNICATION

BENEFITS OF POSITIVE COMMUNICATION

Building a children’s self-esteem is an essential skill when you are raising children. What you say to them, how you say it, and how you treat them has a tremendous impact on how the child sees themself.

There are many opportunities during the day when you communicate with a child. However, you need to think about what that communication looks like. For example: Is your communication limited to giving instructions? For example: “Pick up your toys” or “wash your hands”. This is not the type of communication that builds the child’s self-esteem. The type of communication that builds self-esteem is when you have a two-sided conversation. A great time to do that is to schedule a “talk” session into your daily routine each day. For example: during mealtime you can sit with the child and talk with him. Make sure to listen to his comments and give feedback. A good way to open communication is to ask questions. Ask questions that require more than a simple “yes” or “no” answer. Questions that ask “why” or “how” require the child to give more in depth answers. This gives you a great opportunity to use upbuilding words of encouragement to the child.

What if the child’s conversation with you is negative? For example: the child tells you they can’t build a building with blocks. They say, “I tried but the blocks kept falling down. I just can’t do it.” By having a conversation with the child, you have learned a very important piece of information. You now know that the child is developing a negative view of what they can do or can’t do. This is a great opportunity to build the child up. For example: you could say, “I know building a building with blocks is hard. It takes a lot of practice. Remember when you had a hard time learning to bounce the ball, but look at you today, you are one of our best ball bouncers. Keep trying, I know you can do it.”

Let’s look at what you were able to accomplish here.

1. You acknowledged that building blocks are hard.
2. You reminded the child that somethings are hard like learning to bounce a ball.
3. You praised the child for his accomplishment.
4. You gave the child confidence that you know he can do it.

As a parent, you are in the position to form how your child perceive himself. You can assist your child in building a healthy self-esteem or chip away at your child’s self-esteem, causing your child to develop a negative view of himself. For example, saying, “You are being a baby”, or “you are lazy”, or “you are a troublemaker” are labels that a child will identify with in a negative way and have an influence on his behavior.

Children will not only identify with what you are telling them, but they will actually display the negative traits. For example: Telling your child he is lazy because he will not help pick up toys will not encourage him to do better, instead it tells the child he cannot pick up the toys because he is lazy. If you tell him he is lazy then he will be lazy, because that is what you told him he is.

You would never want to put down the child by telling him he cannot do something. This will inhibit him from even trying. Avoid making comparisons with another child, instead emphasis that we all have different strengths.

Building self-esteem can start in infancy. Talk to your infant and explaining what you are doing. For example: “I’m going to take that dirty old diaper off and get you all clean and dry.” Talking to her with eye contact and smiles is the beginning of learning interaction with adults and that she is loved and worthy.

Remember every interaction you have with children has an impact.