DEMANDING CHILDREN- REDUCE A CHILD'S SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT

DEMANDING CHILDREN -REDUCE A CHILD’S SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT

There is a fine line between entitlement and spoiled. An entitled child feels that they deserve everything they want, and a spoiled child is given everything they want. Parents do not set out to raise an entitled child, however, they may have contributed to the child feeling that the parents owe them anything they want.

Parents often feel the more they give their child, the better parent they are. They also feel they need to be the child’s friend. They falsely believe the child will love them and appreciate them more if you give them what they want. Instead, parents are raising a child who is demanding and feels entitled to their every demand.

TIPS FOR RAISING A CHILD WHO DOES NOT FEEL ENTITLED

• Give children age-appropriate chores. Teach them from a very early age that they have responsibilities as part of the family. For example: It can be as simply as putting their dish in the sink when they finish a meal, picking up their toys, putting their dirty clothes in the hamper, etc. This helps the child learn that they are a competent and useful member of the family. It teaches them self-reliance and responsibility as they grow into adults.

• Give your child an opportunity to earn what they want. This will help them learn the value of what they want and the connection between making an effort and earning something. Children need to learn that adults have to work to earn money and that they will have to do the same as they get older. Teaching your children the value of hard work will help them achieve success as an adult.

• Make sure what you are trying to teach the child is age appropriate. Toddlers are ‘ego-centric’. This means that they believe that everything they want is they can have. It is important at this young age that you teach the child that they can not always get their way. This takes patience and consistency. For example: Your toddler sees a toy in another child’s hands and takes it away from them. The toddler may not understand why he cannot have it, but reality is he has to give it back. Patiently explain to the child that the toy belongs to someone else. That does not mean your child may not cry or even have a temper tantrum, but eventually with consistency they will learn.

• Teach your child what they can do when disappointed. Develop behaviors that you will and will not accept. For example: When your child gets mad because they cannot have something they want, it is not ok for them to hit or throw things. However, let your child know you understand they are feeling mad and disappointed and they when they feel this way they can go punch the pillows on their bed. Be consistent.

• When playing games with the children do not always let them win. They need to learn, especially when they go to school, there will be times when they will lose. Help them to appreciate the fun of playing the game.

• Show your children how to act. Modeling good behavior is key to your child’s healthy growth and development. Examine your behavior to see if you are modeling any inappropriate behavior in front of your child. Ask yourself these questions: How do I handle it when my favorite football team loses an important game? How do you handle it when another car cuts you off, or takes the parking space you wanted? How do you act when your neighbor gets the new car you have been wanting?

Unfortunately, we are all, including our children, showered with advertisements on TV, social media and our peers to buy the newest and latest technology, cars, and many other things. Teaching your child early to be responsible, caring and hardworking are skills they will carry into adulthood.