FAMILIES IN CRISIS
As a person who works with children all day, you have learned to see things from the child’s perspective. You notice small steps in the child’s development, how they react in certain circumstances, and often the child will tell you things that they may not share with their parents. Therefore, you are in a position to share positive and negative insights with the parents.
Discussing personal problems and issues that are affecting the child can be difficult. Hopefully you have established a relationship with the parents where they know you have their child’s best interest at heart.
Supporting a family in crisis can be a challenge. They need your support. However, that may mean that the family needs help and intervention. Present your observations and support to the parents as a way for them to become better parents. There are many reasons why a family may need your support and intervention, often from reasons beyond their control and in these instances the family may welcome help and support.
• Death of a family member
• Natural causes, storms, floods, etc.
• Loss of job
• Divorce or separation
Often you will come up against denial. Because of pride, guilt or not wanting to be seen as a ‘bad parent’. You cannot help the family until they admit there is a problem.
Here are a few suggestions on ways to help a family in crisis:
• Try not to be judgmental. You may feel resentment and anger against the parent for their actions. You may need to step aside and let other trained professionals take care of the family. If you feel that you cannot handle your emotions, talk about it to a professional or trusted friend.
• Have the mutual focus on the concern for the child.
• Be a good listener. You don’t always have to give advice, sometimes a parent just needs someone to talk to.
• Have a good resource file with information, pamphlets, books, and organizations with phone numbers with help for the family. It is often easier for a parent to accept something they read in print that to hear it from you.
In the case of abuse or neglect, a family may be in crisis because the abuser is not a member of the immediate family. It is even more difficult if a parent is found to be the abuser. It may be difficult to find a way to support or help the family.
One way to is to have good documentation. When a crisis occurs in a child’s life, or a report of abuse or neglect is being investigated, take the time each day to observe the children’s behavior. As you observe and document what you see ask yourself these questions:
• What is the child drawing?
• Has the child’s play changed?
For example: They used to love building with blocks and now they are throwing the blocks and knocking over other’s buildings.
• Has the child become very loud during his/her play?
• Is the child acting out troubling or aggressive actions during play?
Always document what changes you observe. These documentations will be helpful in working with the child and setting any interventions the professionals feel the child needs. Remember, you can be a resource for the family, and a comfort and support for the child.
RESOURCES
The Crisis Manual for Early Childhood Teachers; Karen Miller