LEARNING TO RESPECT THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS

When children are small, they believe that their wishes are the most important. They believe that they should get what they want and that their feelings are what counts. Learning to respect the rights of others is a difficult lesson to learn.

Here are some helpful hints you can incorporate use to teach your child to respect other people’s rights.

• Give clear explanations. It’s important for children to understand that their every wish cannot be your command.

For example: When you are in the middle of preparing lunch and your child wants you to read a story to them, explain why you cannot stop what you are doing and read to her right now. Let the child know you will read it to them later.

Also give clear explanations when you expect children to respect the wishes of other children and members of the family. For example: Mary wants her older sister Terry to play with her now. Explain to Mary why Terry does not want to play right now. “Terry cannot play with you right now because she is doing her homework, if she finishes soon, she will play with you.”

• Respect the rights of your child. Teaching your child how to take turns and share are ways to show respect for the rights of the others. Sharing is a wonderful concept to teach the children but beware of infringing on the rights of your child while attempting to demonstrate sharing.

For example: Taking a toy from your child and giving it to another when trying to demonstrate sharing. This could lead to your child feeling angry that you sided with the other child.

• Respect for other’s belongings. Teach the children to ask permission before taking something that belongs to someone else.

• Respect your child’s feelings. You cannot expect your young child to respect or begin to understand the feelings of others, if your child feels his or her own feelings are not respected.

For example: A child who feels sad and cries should never be called a ‘crybaby’ by you or anyone in the family. Do not speak about your child in his/her presence as if they weren’t there. When you do this, you are teaching a child it is appropriate to ignore the feeling of others.

• Identify feelings others may be experiencing. Teaching children to respect the rights of others requires that they learn how others feel.

For example: At the playground Eric takes your child’s toy away and your child cries. Ask Eric, “Bryce is crying, how do you think he is feeling right now?” You could also teach Bryce to tell Eric how he feels. “I am really sad because you took my toy away from me.”

A great way of teaching children to recognize feeling is to discuss how characters in a story you read are feeling at different times in the story.

• Set a respectful example. Teach your child to comfort another child when they are sad. What you say to your child does not have as much impact as what you do.

For example: You ask your child to acknowledge the rights or feelings of another child. Then she sees you snapping at your spouse or a neighbor, this sends a message that such behaviors are acceptable.

Teach your child about how you are the same and how you are different.

For example: You have long hair, your child has short hair. Both you and your child love chocolate cookies. Showing your child how you are the same allows them to understand how you are connected. Talking about differences show the child how he/she is unique and special. Discuss how all members of the family are the same and how you are all different. Talk about how everyone in the family has a different but important role. This will help your child build respect for each family member’s rights and allow your child to feel that he is a valuable member of the family.