NURTURING INDEPENDENCE

NURTURING INDEPENDENCE

As children grow and develop, they learn by imitating what they see you and older children do. Children learn how to interact with others by watching you. If your family environment treats everyone with consideration and respect, your child will learn through that example.

A child will usually imitate their parents. You must set the example for acceptable social behavior.

For example: When two children get into a fight over a toy, you need to demonstrate ways to solve the problem without hurting each other.

There are times when you may react to a child’s behavior with anger of your own. If a child is going to copy your behavior, they must look on you as a person they can trust. You need to be firm and clear regarding the rules, and you must enforce them fairly. How many times have you heard a child say, ‘That’s not fair!” Strive to always treat each child with the same respect.

It’s important to always keep your promises. When you forget a promise, the child learns that your word is not trustworthy. If your child feels you cannot be trusted, she may assume there are other things you say that are probably not true.

How a child feels about him or herself affects how he feels about others. Children are very accepting of others as they are. They easily respect another’s good qualities and overlook the not so good qualities. For healthy social development a child needs to feel respected and needs to respect himself.

As a parent, you need to verbally value children’s accomplishments. It is important not to inflate your child’s abilities but to appreciate them honestly. Children should develop confidence that they can do what they say they can do, while understanding their limitation. Acknowledge when your child makes the right decision or does something nice for another. Find something during the day to give the child some positive praise.

Children who feel secure in their family environment and who receive approval for their achievements will view themselves in a positive way. When children like themselves, they are more apt to want to like the other children around them.

Healthy socialization means learning how to look after themselves. It is your role as the parent to prepare your child to become independent.

For example: When a child can put on their shoes, socks, zip up their pants, or button their coat, gives them a sense of independence. Being aware of your child’s developmental age and remembering what tasks their immature muscles are able to accomplish is important to fostering independence.

For example: Your child may be able to put her shoes on but unable to tie them.

Many young children crave the warmth and support of physical contact with their parent. Especially when they are in a group setting, some children can be overwhelmed. When you welcome your child onto your lap or seat him beside you, you are giving your child a sense of security and protection which will encourage him to become more independent.