ASSERTIVE LISTENING
How many times have you been having a discussion with someone and they are so busy thinking about what they are going to say they are not listening to what you are saying? It can be very frustrating to feel that the person you are talking to does not value what you are saying enough to listen. It is so important that you show your provider’s that you respect and want to understand their point of view.
Remember: UNDERSTANDING DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE AGREEING. You need to understand why the provider feels the way they do even if you disagree with them.
Learning the following listening skills will assure that you never make a provider feel frustrated or disrespected.
CONCENTRATION
This type of listening begins with concentration. Often in a stressful or emotionally charged situation, you can find it hard to concentrate because your thoughts may be racing. Stop, take a deep breath, and concentrate on what is being said.
RELAX
Try to gain your composure and relax. This is not easy; you may need to excuse yourself and go to your car until you feel ready to concentrate.
CHECK YOUR BODY LANGUAGE
When listening, remember how important body language can be. If you are tense, tapping your foot, or sitting in a rigid manner, the client will most likely mirror your language. Try to sit or stand in a relaxed way. Lean in towards her, showing that you are listening. Occasionally nod your head. Displaying an open posture encourages the client to speak.
ASK QUESTIONS
After listening, tell the provider what you have understood her to say. If she does not agree, ask questions. Encourage her to voice her thoughts, opinion, and feelings. If you still do not understand her point of view, tell her you are confused and ask her to clarify for you. Continue to tell her that you may be coming from a different perspective, but you are interested in her thoughts on the situation.
ESTABLISH MUTUAL RESPECT
When you validate a client’s response respectfully, she may be more receptive to hearing your point of view. Establishing this level of mutual respect will be helpful throughout your relationship.