DIRECT GUIDANCE SKILLS
There are two ways to guide children’s behavior- direct and indirect. This fact sheet will discuss direct guidance.
What is direct guidance? Direct guidance involves actions that are verbal and those that are nonverbal. Forms of verbal actions are when we use our words to direct children. Forms of nonverbal actions involves our facial expressions and body language.
For example: smiling, and eye contact, gestures, putting your arm around a child are nonverbal. Children rely on our nonverbal messages to help them understand what we are saying verbally. Make sure your verbal messages match your nonverbal messages, otherwise the child will become confused.
For example: You are asking a child to stop jumping on the couch, but you are smiling when you say it.
Here are some principles to follow to assist you in developing direct guidance skills:
• Use simple, age-appropriate words. Make sure you use words the child understands.
For example: Two-year-old children may understand the word big but not understand the word huge.
• Speak in a calm voice. Children will get used to the tone of your voice that you use every day. You need to save your loud voice for an emergency. If you are always speaking loudly, you may not be able to get the children’s attention if an emergency occurs. Your tone of voice will also be copied by the children and your environment can become a very noisy place.
• Tell the children what to do instead of what not to do.
For example: instead of saying , “No running,” say “we walk indoors.” This reminds the children of the rule.
• Offer choices only when choices are acceptable.
For example: Do not say, “Do you want to take your nap now?” say, “It’s naptime now.” When you give the child a choice when they do not really have a choice you risk a confrontation.
• Encourage independence and cooperation. Children become independent when they are given the opportunity to do things for themselves. Many times, a child comes to care and is used having the parent do everything for them. Encourage independence right from the start to change this behavior.
For example: putting on their own shoes etc. Encourage children to help each other.
For example: “Susy please help Jake put away the puzzles.”
• Be firm. Sometimes it is necessary to be firm with a child. Never yell at the child but speak in a quiet voice. Do not give in. The child may cry or even throw a temper tantrum, but you must help the child change that behavior. If you give in the child will continue the behavior to get their way.
• Allow time during transitions.
For example: as it is nearing lunch time tell the children, “you need to start finishing your activity because lunch is in 10 minutes.” Even though they may not understand how long 10 minutes is, you are letting them know their activity time is coming to an end. Allow enough time for them to transition from one activity to another.
For example: Allow enough time for the children to put on their coats, hats, mittens, and boots when going outside in the winter.
• Consider the children’s feelings. Children need to feel free to express their feelings and they need to be able to understand the feelings of others. You are in a position to model how to be sensitive to other’s feelings.
For example: a child is sad and crying. You put your arm around the child to comfort him.
Intervene when necessary. Even though we need to allow the child the opportunity to explore on their own, there are times when you should intervene.
a. anytime you see a child doing something that could harm them.
b. Health reasons are another time to intervene,
For example: reminding a child to cover their mouth when they cough.
c. When you see a child or children excluding others from their game.
For example: a child says, “Only girls can play here.” You should intervene and say, “Our day care is for everyone.”
d. When a child is saying something that is hurtful.
For example, child says to another child, “You are stupid.” When you intervene, you let the offending child know what they said could hurt the other’s feelings.
e. Children are arguing over possession of one toy. Children may be in the process of learning how to share, take turns, and be patient. When you intervene teach the children how to share.
For example: “Tommy you can play with the toy this morning and Jim you can play with it in the afternoon. Make sure that you remember to give Jim his turn in the afternoon.
f. Respect each child’s rights. Children should not be allowed to grab an object away from another child. Again, this is an opportunity to teach the children how to share and cooperate.
As children grow and develop, using direct guidance is an excellent way to direct their behavior and teach them life-long social skills.
RESOURCES
Working With Young Children, Judy Kerr